By Jeff 06/12/2010

Kim Jong-il Invades Garbage Patch

In a bold act of modern day imperialism, the Premier of North Korea, Kim Jong-Il, claimed the Great Pacific Garbage Patch as new territory in the name of his country. Standing atop a floating pile of garbage, the Premier raised the North Korean flag in a ceremony of great pomp and circumstance.

“With the rest of the world already spoken for, this is an opportunity to expand our borders without invading an unsuspecting neighbor,” the diminutive leader explained. “Besides, it’s not as if anyone else wanted it,” he said while motioning to the floating refuse.

Expanding Borders Takes on New Meaning for North Korea

The new territory will be called “Flotsam” and float roughly 2000 miles (depending on the currents) to the east of North Korea. The new territory is expected to be a boon for North Korea’s struggling fishing industry.

“They’re everywhere,” the Great Leader exclaimed, “and we don’t even have to use nets.” Pointing to the plethora of deceased wildlife, he continued, “They just bob to the top.”