For those of you who never read the scrolling bar on the left of the old web site, here are the snippets!

BP begins playing with its unit

Oil giant and Uk embarrassment, BP announced today it would create a new unit to boost safety.      

GE and DTE win National Enquirer first prize!

The two giant corporations have managed to build a perpetual motion machine by placing waters pumps in series with a hydro electric dam. (See Article)

Farmville not green?

The 80 million users of the Facebook game 'Farmville' will be shocked to learn their tractor, a Farmall Cub, is not energy efficient and was built with substandard emission controls. Lawmakers are seeking legislation to force Farmville participants to purchase carbon credits to offset their environmental impact.

BP containment cap attacked by own submarine

We couldn't have made this up if we tried.      

The Onion purchases Fox News

The Onion plans to expand by incorporating the competitive fictitious news source. (See front page article for more)        

Man creates carbon dioxide-powered lawn mower

Proves too effective and cuts own power supply.        

Off shore wind farm OK'ed

Residents of Cape Cod attempted a 1960s-style "sit in" to object to the farm, but were unable to hire enough immigrant labor to do the actual sitting. Local sources indicated that too many migrant workers were employed on spring/summer home improvement projects for local residents so the sit in has been postponed until after the grape harvest.

BP chief predicts 'very modest' oil spill impact ... to Britain?

After reading the Fox News Headlines, it was unclear whether or not British Petroleum was indicating that Britain was in the clear or trying to pass by some BS about the triviality of the environmental damage to North and Central American coastlines.

Nicola Tesla ashes reconstitute

After 67 years of slumber the Master of Lightning rises from the dead to make an astonishing discovery.  (Read article below for more details)  

8th Sister Energy wins!

On Friday April 23, The 8th Sister Research Center was awarded the highly coveted "How far can you throw someone through the air with a car battery" award, achieving 18 feet 4 inches. Although another team was able to manage 19 feet 2 inches, their subject was unable to remember his name for 20 minutes and was disqualified.