• Global Warming Advocates Turn to Aerosol Cans


    In the wake of information released this week by NASA’s top climate change scientist, those seeking a way to slow the progress of global warming have turned to a seemingly unlikely source: the dreaded aerosol can.

    “Global warming concerns, in conjunction with economic realities, have forced the friends of the environment to find alternative ways to combat rising temperatures,” said Dr. Stumm Scheinwissenschaftler of Leipzig College of Climatology. “Rather than spending money on new ways to curb these temperature increases, we have looked to the past and embraced materials readily available.”

    These materials include antiquated aerosol cans.

    "Much research was done to demonstrate the effect of aerosol sprays on the atmosphere. Aerosols were the single biggest human contributor to global cooling in the latter half of the 20th century,” Scheinwissenschaftler said. “Yesterday’s problem has become today’s solution.”

    Making Use of Cold War Relics


    Where do these sprays come from? Oddly enough, they are relics of the Cold War. Scheinwissenschaftler explains, “There are warehouses full of the stuff all over former Eastern Bloc countries. Here in Leipzig we have 17 such warehouses stacked to the rafters with cases of hairspray.”

    Can hairspray alone spare the world from effects of global warming? “Hardly, but in conjunction with insecticides, spray paints and Silly String, we might be able to slow down the rising temperatures.”

    And NATO countries were quick to offer their aid to this worthy cause.

    “We have just learned France is offering up more than four decades worth of unused deodorant sprays.”

    Old Spray Cans Might Just Come in Handy


    So next time that pesky rising temperature is crawling upward, consider sporting a beehive hairdo or spray painting your house. Those old cans with the annoying rattle are not only the pathway to beauty, they’re also a way to nudge the environment in the direction we all like.