LeBron James NBA Jersey Burns the Hottest

Cleveland – An apparent cold front swept across a small portion of the Midwest Thursday night just before 10 p.m. forcing many people out of their air-conditioned homes and into the streets to find warmth. It was quickly discovered that the best way to stay warm was forming into small groups and started bonfires fueled by NBA jerseys. Those worn by former-Cleveland Cavalier LeBron James seemed to burn hottest.

Residents of Cleveland looked dazed as they wandered the streets clutching their prized #23 jerseys in search of 55-gallon drums and kindling. Many wandering fans started “We hate Miami” chants showing their obvious envy regarding the Florida city’s warm climate.

NGA Jerseys Help Global Warming?

Global warming advocates pointed to the isolated mid-summer cold weather as yet another example of humanity’s impact on the environment.

The frigid weather seemed to even reach into the bowels of the nether world of suffering and torment, Hell itself. A spokesman for Hades was quick to offer a statement. “We’re not sure what caused it because the powers that be were busy watching E’s “Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami” but just before 10 o’clock, the masses were putting on Miami Heat jerseys. Next thing we knew, Guy Fawkes, Benedict Arnold Marcus Brutus and Judas Iscariot are all walking around with #23 Miami Heat jerseys.”

Prince of Darkness Comments on LeBron James

The Prince of Darkness himself, the Devil, was quoted as saying, “I’m not sure who this LeBron guy is, but he got awfully popular around here all of a sudden.” The Antichrist then added, “And they thought my fall from grace was bad.”