Wacky Americans Take Energy Plans to a Higher Level

 

Those wacky Americans are at it again. Oakland, California-based company I’VE GOT YOUR POWER RIGHT HERE has proposed the construction of an out-of-this-world solar energy project. What amounts to a real-life Tower of Babel, the structure would reach into the heavens.

The first large-scale solar energy project to use the “Tower of Power,” as this pundit is calling it, on United States of America soil would be located in San Bernardino, California, and provide clear power to thousands of U.S. homes. And according to unconfirmed and totally unreliable sources, the tower could also be used as a weapon, becoming in essence a true-to-life Tower of Terror. Disney representatives and evil Lord of The Rings archvillain Sauron were not amused upon hearing the news.


Middle Earth Menace Sauron Takes Exception to U.S. Tower of Power


“I have the original Tower of Ultimate Power in the land of Mordor,” Sauron boomed. But in a swift act to silence the outspoken menace of Middle Earth, American and Gondorian forces reigned bombs of mass destruction down on Sauron’s main fortress. American commanders sent a clear message with their bombs, some of which had epitaphs written on them such as, “Shut the F up Sauron” and “We’re Watching You With Our 2 Eyes As Opposed to Your 1, So There.”

The new project has been touted as the biggest Tower of Power in the world by a low-level U.S. Secretary, who was overheard saying, “Take that world! Now we have the biggest tower on the block.”


Skeletor Denounces He-man Comment


The Secretary was further heard as saying, “The Tower of Power is akin to a sword that uses sunlight. So, in essence we are like He-man.”

A press release was issued by the Eternia Press in response to the Secretary’s claim. Skeletor was quoted as saying, “You are nothing like He-man America. He-man is a hunky bohunkus. Plus he doesn’t wear a tie.”

Not to be outdone by the U.S., the Chinese government announced today that it plans to build two Towers of Power for the price of one.

 

(Image source: Wappen_Erbstetten.png: Source: http://www.burgstetten.de composed, modified and transparency added by User:Enslin. derivative work: Rondador (Wappen_Erbstetten.png) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)