Live Report From Tree Elf Community

 

In a recent special report by The Daily Tree, a weekly publication that serves the Tree Elf Community of the greater Magical Forest Area, reporter Maggie Shoemaker brings us a riveting interview with Chief Ernest J. Keebler of the Keebler Elf Tribe and his reaction to the new, artificial leaf recently invented by MIT scientists. The bottom line: The fake leaves are not “uncommonly good.”

Reporter: “I’m here with Chief Ernie Keebler, leader of the Keebler Tribe. My first question for you Chief Keebler is this, what is life like as a baker who lives in the forest?”

Chief Keebler: “Other than the supply lines, which can be stretched at times due to the urban to rural transfer, overall the situation is pleasantly simple — though recent developments have brought the real world to the Keebler Elves, and along with it, all its travails. Take the Internet for instance, with the advent of the wireless networks, we are now connected instantly with the needs of our customers, though not all technology has been as well received.”

 

New Technology Hard to Adapt To

 

Reporter: “I find this all so fascinating Chief, but what new technology are you and your tribe finding so hard to adapt to?”

Chief Keebler: “Well, we can deal with the HD TVs and 4G technology, but it’s these new artificial leaves that we are finding hard to swallow, literally.”

Reporter: “Continue Chief.”

 

Artificial Leaves A Bust

 

Chief Keebler: “Well, being elves, we subsist on tasty forest animals and the leaves of trees. These new leaves taste like plastic … and forget about using them to wipe our Keebler asses. You might as well use a credit card.”

Reporter: “You are speaking of the new, artificial leaf created by scientists at MIT. I don’t think you are supposed to eat them Chief.”

Chief Keebler: “Well, they act just like real leaves. You see, if you put one in a bucket of water and expose the bucket to sunlight, it will produce 10 times the energy of a real leaf, enough to power a single household for a day. Naturally, we thought the leaves would be ten times as good for our dinner menu. Boy were we wrong.”

Reporter: “So, I take it you will be switching back to the old leaves for nourishment.”

Chief Keebler: “Yes. Plus, we’ll need a whole lot of Phillips Milk of Magnesia.”